As far back as I can go, I don’t see any particular circumstances for the beginning of my pedophilia.
It came gradually over time around the age of 25.
There is something that I can admit without problem is my first and only relationship that lasted only 2 days when I was 29 (today I am 48) and she was 14.. We were both very shy so the first day was without sexuality because we spent the day outside making out. It was only on the second day that we decided to go to my hotel room, to try to have sex but it didn’t work because she was very stressed, and so my penis couldn’t fit into hers. We didn’t stay in touch the following days. Now, I realize that this relationship where there was no constraint, where we were both consenting, can be characterized by rape because of her age under 15 years old.
Among the other pedophile facts, there were several periods of downloading incestuous pedophile images and videos with very young children sometimes. I only deleted them recently because I felt remorse. My preference in this content was rather for teenage or pre-teen girls.
Then I had a long-distance relationship with a 15-year-old girl, when I was 45.
Then I had an attraction and fantasies about my own niece who was 13 to 14 years old. Nothing concrete happened with her. It had remained in my head.